I am not looking for attention, I am being honest.

I just want God's will for my life.
He is given me this deep care for those around me and I have been obedient for so long.
I have prayed for them, I have encouraged them, I have given of myself and it is at the point where I have nothing else to give.

I feel that no one understands the heart I have and the genuine love I have for those around me.
I feel like no one has that genuine love for me.
I do not mean that romantic kind of love, I mean that David and Jonathan kind of love.
The friendship and relation they had was so powerful.

I feel that I do not have anyone who cares for me to that extent.

I thought I did, but now that person has left me and befriended another. That hurts as well.
To be completely honest, I am tired of crying out to God.
I am tired of things always getting worse.
I am tired of being alone.

Now, I am not writing this to seek attention. I just want you to know that I need prayer.
I do not wish to burden anyone so I will keep to myself, but I do ask that you pray for me.

I want to apologize to those friends I have failed as well so,
I am sorry Michelle, Derek L., Laura S., Sarah Brewington, Shawn Giesbrect, Gaskin, Jeff B., Kurt F., Brian R.,Jillian L., Jimmy J., Emily O., and McKenzie C. To all of you I am sorry but I failed you. I have decided to stop. I am sorry but I do not know how to a good friend. Please forgive me.

I am done